I am creatively stuck. Every day that I sit down and try to put words on the page feels like trying to suck my brain out of my nose with a straw. Okay bad analogy, but let’s just say it is very painful. I usually can just word vomit nicely and come out with decent story. Well decent first draft at least. Right now, I am so stuck I can’t even get a page done. I’m trying to just write through it but it’s like trying to charge a castle by going through mud. It’s slow, it’s tiring and I just want to give up. And I could. Writing isn’t something I have to do, it’s something I desire. That I love, on normal days.
So what do I do? Do I just let this pass? How? Do I keep trying to write through it. Normally I would. But my brain feels like it’s stopped working and I don’t want to do anything. I know this is my depression. My desire to do anything, even fun stuff like video games and reading, hold no appeal to me. I don’t want to watch anything, I don’t want to do anything but sleep. Even sleep sucks right now. Evelyn has been in our bed since 1am and I can’t move her without her waking up. By now, 6:30 its too late to go back to sleep anyways. Like the Whedon mascot says: Grrr Arghhh.
My other option is to stop forcing it and just take a break. But I’ve just come off of a break after Nano, a Nano I did not complete (I got to the end of the story but it was only 35K rather than 50K and I’m okay with that. November was a huge month of me seeking treatment.)
I have zero motivation to even keep breathing, but I do because I need to. Because I know that this too will pass, eventually.
So those who have suffered blocks of some sort for whatever reason, what helped you push through them? Did you take a break? Did you write on through? And those who suffer from depression, have you experienced something similar?